At last, the book that answers the question on every parent’s mind: Why does my toddler hate me?
 
Okay, it’s not really hate. It’s just that a little psychopath who walks through life 100% convinced that he or she is the center of the universe does not care that you have a heart, a mind, or a soul. You are simply a skin-covered robot tall enough to reach the candy on top of the fridge. And clean up the rage-vomit when you make the fatal mistake of cutting off the crust on your toddler’s toast. (Or not cutting it off—seriously, you can’t win.)

Shipping timelines

Orders are processed and prepared for shipment within 2-3 business days. Business days exclude weekends and national holidays. Orders are shipped via USPS first class or ground or UPS ground depending on weight and location. Signatures are required for orders over $200 and tracking is provided. We recommend that you provide a shipping address that has a secure delivery space. Pacifier cannot be responsible for theft or damage of packages that have been confirmed as delivered via provided tracking services.

Pre-orders

Items that are noted as pre-order will ship during the timeframe specified.  If the vendor updates the back-order timeframe, we will provide updates and you are welcome to cancel the order anytime prior to shipment.

Special shipping

Rush shipping is available at an additional price - please call us at 612.767.8501 to inquire about expedited shipping options. We currently ship standard within the continental United States, but please call us at 612.767.8501 if you wish to ship to Alaska, Hawaii, or an APO base to calculate shipping cost.

Contact hours

Please note our team is available to help during our hours. We can be reached at 612.767.8501 between 8AM-5PM CST Monday through Friday. We are closed on New Years Day, Easter Sunday, Memorial Day, July 4th, Labor Day, Thanksgiving day, and Christmas Day.

To make a return, please email orders@pacifieronline.com to request return authorization. In your message, please include your name, order number and the item(s) you wish to return. We will get back to you within 2 business days to provide return authorization on applicable orders and shipping instructions.

Returns made within 14 days of order delivery receive a full refund to the original form of payment or exchange. Returns made within 15-60 days of order delivery receive store credit which never expires.

We do not cover the shipping cost of returns, any shipping fees will be deducted from your refund.The shipping fee depends on the size and weight of your return order. Please call us at 612.767.8501 if you have any questions.Merchandise must be in new, unused condition and packaging intact and with original seals.Strollers, carseats and furniture may only be exchanged/returned if packaging remains sealed. 

Return and exchange timeframe restrictions apply to strollers, carseats, and furniture.

Clearance, special order items, and opened gear/furniture items are final sale and not returnable or exchangeable.

We ship USPS First Class or Ground or UPS Ground, depending on weight. Signatures are required for orders over $200 and tracking is provided. We recommend that you provide a shipping address that has a secure delivery space. Pacifier cannot be responsible for theft of packages that have been confirmed as delivered via provided tracking services.